Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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This is'nt a joke but like if it pisses you off when people comment on there own joke pretending to be someone else.

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what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

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I avhe dyiaexls.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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There's no "i" in tim.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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h

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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