What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

How do you piss off a female archeologist? Kill her dog.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

Chuck norris walked into a bar. He went up to the bartender, clenched his fists and gave him some money

Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

asparagus

whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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