Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

Why was the black man running away from the cops? He was running a relay race.

How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

Why was Sally a bad driver? Because she rarely signals and never checked her blind spots.

A duck walks into a bar, the bartender asks "What'd you want?" the duck responds "A miller lite please" promptly after that the bartender was tested for mental insanity because he thinks ducks can talk.

Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

Q: What cracks while having sex? A: The pelvis of a four year old...

Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

i would like to know if the rumors about the moon being made out of chees is true because nobody told me it was CC

If u and I jumped off a cliff..who would land first? who cares..

whats a worse movie than saw I don't know my mom won't let me watch any

asparagus

How did the fat man die? Type 2 diabetes

Gabe Mercado

What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

Yo mama is so fat, she is thinking of going on a diet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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