is mayonnaise an instrument?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A seal walks into a club.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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a black guy leaves prison

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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Like this joke

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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