What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

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Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

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Whats worse than a paper cut? AIDS.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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Why was the man so unhappy. he died

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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