"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

thumb_up thumb_down +17

is mayonnaise an instrument?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

thumb_up thumb_down +15

??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a black guy leaves prison

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +15

ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops