How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

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Why did the cow stop running? - He ran out of breath

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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a black guy leaves prison

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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