- Anti Joke

Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

Not as much as a psychopath, I mean I feel sick as hell and getting out of here would be a welcome change, I am simply pissed, I mean not even Major Dumbass here deserves half the treatment Nero underwent, but lets put that away. Yeah you have been told where we are at huh? I can come get you, I have not changed much, except I might not exactly be much of a good shoulder to cry on, but I suppose it will do if you want, since I know you, I am the least of a merc you will find around, besides you know, I did always remind you and myself of your old man, sorry I just left, I am sure you understand its not fun to play second banana... Well not that you and him apparently, nor you and me, okay never mind about that, I just welcome a change of pace that`s all, I mean one thing is killing some assholes, another thing is this torture thing, but I wont stop my men, and a certain twisted woman from doing what they obviously love, as you might have read beforehand, it could come most useful. If it is worth something, I cant even stare at these things, but I wont lie, I ordered it. Lookie at me, trying to sound nice and pleasant around you, listen I appreciate if I can come pick you up myself, I might not be much of a listener nor all that, but I need to at least find out if I am truly becoming a psychopath here, if I am, I am pretty much screwed. I mean we are all angry here, but yeah. Sorry to say you have to decipher the codes in order to contact us in the future trough our little system, (procedure safety protocols and such yadayada) but I can get someone to pick you up during the next seven hours or so, and I am seriously and honestly not in the mood for anything... Fancy, so I suggest a hotel room or something, as I know that little shack of you is neither safe nor pleasant (which makes it the perfect hiding place ironically, I wish that damn mastermind was alive today, Nero would have changed the world without it even knowing it given the chance (not saying he did not but you know) I wont lie, I am kinda nervous seeing you again, then again I just threw up for the last time. Since there is no coding here whatsoever, its just what it says, I suggest that you do not respond if there is no problem if I pick you up, and believe me, you do not want to wait here, I mean it is my deal to supervise all of this, but if nothing else, let me come get you since I am not exactly proving to be much of a leader when it comes to this torture thing (clean shot to the head is more my style apparently) and well, what can I say, I am hungry and the food dont stay down here so I cannot wait to find a good excuse to get the hell out of here. Sorry, chatting almost as much as your late old man (he was always better at mindfuck and cracking jokes while dodging gunfire though, fearless bastard), seven hours, I need my 3 hours after all of this, and since you are quite beautiful and I have had to see a completely new side of some of my "men" today i think it is definitively better that I get you in person just in case. (actually our "lady" here, is the worst sadist but you get my point). Who and what is this Metal Gear Solid btw? I always told your old man that playing videogames rather than practicing would get him killed some day, but hell, I think I am joking, the man had so high fever they had to go get a thermometer which could register higher degrees of cold and then heat, and as far as we got from our point, he fought like a true soldier, and then the damn Spetz brought on their Nazi brothers keeping us occupied. Did I mention that General Dumbass here was the one supposed to lead the charge? I told your late old man that he should wait, but Nero rarely got that cold stare man, its as if he told me right there and then "You know that son of a bitch is never going to turn up", honestly I would have gone in there first if I could, but Nero well, while we have no idea how he was standing (he kept having trouble distinguishing reality from fever stuff) I honestly think he knew he was going to die anyway, because these bastard doctors apparently told us he was going to be fine when he was alive, then changed their story, I hope you do not mind we killed em all, had they been honest, maybe Nero would have stayed home, yeah we all know that is a lie, on the bright side Nero knew he was a goner, your bio-dad wrote the last words for him, and yeah, Nero charged forward before the old reaper could get him. I need to get sleep first, I am dead tired which would leave me chatting ten times as much and as fast as I am typing. Seth Nothing Never knew my parents, was raised by my older sister which for some reason refused to tell me my real or last name, and I thought that would make me a sissy... Well compared to some here I am.

What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

Why is john unable to ride a bike? because john is a rock

Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

George Bush does not care about black people.

I had a joke about a tie, but it wasn't funny.

Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

Three hispanic men pull up to a suburban residence. They pick up their friend and go see a movie.

Compton

Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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