A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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knock,knock who's there? the postman didn't answer as he is deaf

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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ps3

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Hellen Keller

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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What do you call a former pope. Dead!

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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Why did the black man die? Why didn't the black man die?

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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Why did a lady get in a car crash? Because woman don't drive, they stay in the kitchen!

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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How do u shit With ur ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops