The only hand that can beat a royal flush is Chuck Norris's hand

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you know?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so stupid she had a hard time graduating high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does Free Candy and a Free game online have in common? They both have viruses

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

thumb_up thumb_down +1

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

42

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops