What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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Whats sad about 3 mexicans getting hit by a train They were remodeling my kitchen

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops