- Anti Joke

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

My mom.

The 19th Amendment

Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

A man and a chicken walk into a bar... I forgot the rest of the joke .... YOUR MUMS A WHORE

How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

whos gay? you are

What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

K

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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