What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods? Santa is a jolly Christmas figure that delivers presents to children and Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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knock knock whos there? how should I know?

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What do you call a black man that is working on a farm? A farmer.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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Womens' rights.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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Which way do gay people walk? in One Direction

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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