A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Women

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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96

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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What abou three times

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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