Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

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Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? I don't know? Ask him. by Burflared

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whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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There was an old man from Limerick. He was of scottish ancestry and nearing his 76th birthday.

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What time is it? 10:58

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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why was the man masturbating? his wife needed a break

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The holocaust.

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Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

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what happened to the drug addict? he go high

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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