Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

haha.

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

Patrick is gay

There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

Knock knock It's open, come in.

A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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