What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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What is brown and sticky?

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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What is a question?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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What's the difference between a white person and a black person? The presence of melanin in their skin, as well as often their socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops