Knock knock Come in!

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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planking.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

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Brittney Spears

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Not at all, I find your perception of things like that quite pleasing, you obviously care about me, and care about your wife, that's nice.

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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