Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

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Women's sports.

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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What happened to the latino and asian man in math class when they had a test? They both recieved exceptional scores as they both helped each other study the night before.

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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