Jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg.

What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

di you hear about the man that got his whole left side cut off? no well he died

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

Knock knock Come in!

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

planking.

A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

Brittney Spears

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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