You smell bad? Cool.

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What did the black man do when i shit in he's pant? Changed pants.

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If anybody wants a free RuneScape account, the username is Antbongton and the password is fluckaduck

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from sky-scraper Q:he dies

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What did the banana say to the bear? Nothing, banana's can't talk.

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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When I went on this website for the first time with a few friends, I was surprised to see a lot of these jokes were actually capable of making me laugh. But as I read on, eventually those funny, harmless jokes turned into offensive, ignorant, and very absurd statements. I realize that this 'anti joke' website was most likely created by a bunch of white people, because obviously white people are one of the most racest human beings, but all this is just too much! I guess I'm trying to say: if your going to make a joke, be respectful about it. America has gone through a lot of unforgiveable hardships and unfortunately these 'jokes' are making fun of all of that in a very offensive way.

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I'm taken

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Women's rights.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the burn victim get for Christmas? A book of matches

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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