Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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what do you call a black man named mike

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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