A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Women's sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

thumb_up thumb_down +31

An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is brown and sticky?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A bar walks into your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How did the blond die? Substance abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops