what do you call a fish without eyes? a fshhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

25

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock knock (No one is home)

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

thumb_up thumb_down +36

a little girl gets raped

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops