I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

Women's rights

Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

"Hell nahhh I called shotgun" -Rosa Parks

A Jew, a Mexican, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get the f*ck out."

A woman gets in her car to drive.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

Looks through the peephole.

This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

Fuck her

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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