Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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How do Ethiopians celebrate Christmas? They don't there to worried about dying from Aids and starvation

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So a baby seal walks into a club

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

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What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

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Why was the kid underwater? He hit a rock.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Akshaytiger World

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Ancient Greeks rights

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What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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Knock knock SCREW YOU I BUSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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