A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

wait am i supposed to right the joke down here

What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a homosexual jump from a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? Society.

What time did the tennis start? Tennish

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

"Knock, Knock" "Go away, I have a lot of stuff to do right now and knock knock jokes suck."

Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

What do you call 4 Mexicans hopping the border? 4 Mexicans in search of a better lifestyle from poverty.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

Why was johny late to school? He died

Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

hi

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...