How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was johny late to school? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +42

two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What should I name my dog?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do a comb and a guitar have in common? Neither of them can climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +34

there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

The Charlotte bobcats.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops