What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? 1

A bar walks into your mother.

How did the blond die? Substance abuse

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

why did Max cry??? chicken

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

Women's rights

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...