Mitt Romney for president.

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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Pickles

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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I'm Jewish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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Who taught Chuck Norris? -Chuck Norris

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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Your mum is dead

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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