How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Men's rights.

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Why did the chick cross the road? He didn't. He was attending his father's funeral, who had been killed earlier that week by an oncoming car as he was crossing the road.

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Will you marry me?

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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Hummer.

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what is more annoying than finding a worm in your apple? An asian kid with ADHD.

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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Hitler is my role model

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Stephen Hawking can walk

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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How any blondes dose it take to screw in a lightbulb? 3 one to hold the light bulb and two to rotate the ladder

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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