What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo mama so fat, she most likely wont live to 40

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Boobs are nasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

"Hello." "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down -37

The same girl who got cancer for christmas had a birthday soon after, as a present She got kimo...but it failed

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 recently got out of prison for violent rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -45

What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

A day without sunshine is like night.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -111

how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +48

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

HARRY EFFING STYLES

thumb_up thumb_down +46

"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

thumb_up thumb_down +46

How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops