roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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Unflushed Shit...

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

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I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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like for a handjob.

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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