How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? You would too if your name was Hjshdvcyehbretafvvba.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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Women's sports.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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