I'm Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats worst than the holocaust? the holocaust times 2

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Women"s Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mum is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Chuck Norris go to Chuck E Cheeses? Because his friend wanted to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what does a nazi and the witch from hansel and gretal have in common, they both put people in ovens.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops