what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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whats short and has spots? A mouse with the chicken pocks.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Haha

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

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Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

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Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

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JESSSSIICCCCCAAAAAA!

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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Yo moma is so fat. yep.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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Women Voting

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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The WNBA.

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What do you call a man who gets off the train at Willoughby? Dead

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what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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you will die someday

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why did oprah, your mother, and a monkey on a rock have in common? the ability to fornicate

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Roses are black, violets are black, i am blind!

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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