Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

What is the diffrence between a guy and pie? The pie taste like fruit somethimes

what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

How do you make a plumber cry? Make his family cry!!!!!!!!!

Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

Knock Knock No one answers....

Knock, Knock Knock, Knock Knock, Knock No One's home.

One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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