Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

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How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

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Q: who is the worst person to ever post "jokes" on anti-joke.com? A: ryan valee

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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Why did the man say how was your day? because it was the end of the day

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Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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Yo moma is so fat. yep.

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A black man and a black woman are in a car, who's driving? The police.

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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You know George Washington? He died.

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What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

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Asians

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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