A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist are eating at the same table. They are friends, and they do this from time to time.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Rock accidentally fed a giraffe his fetuses conceived by a box of glue from Jewish Heritage that was made from marker sharpeners that fed paper to elephants while strumming a box of tissues to wipe up the mess from a box of chocolates Forest Gump feeds on your soul while a rock accidentally feeds a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What does a tree do all day? Boredom

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -21

killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

My mom's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

"Hello." "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops