What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than nine dead babies hanging in a tree? One dead baby hanging in nine trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops