What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

how do you confuse helen keller? you put her in a room full of naked men and tell her that they are really candy canes

Why did the black man swim across the lake? He didnt. He drowned

why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:Why does everyone want to know it's just a chicken

Why did the plane crash? I don't know. I wasn't on the plane. Its likely, based on the damage, that everyone on board died and therefore couldn't tell you either.

why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIPCREAM!

what did the dead woman say the boy? I am dead.

BUTTERFARTING

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

whats red white and blue? i dont know

Wolf Pussy

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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