What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? "Hey Joe, how's the family?"

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What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't - red is the natural colour for ripe tomatoes.

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Yo mama so ugly... She never got married because most men found it hard to marry her because of her looks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side... But he got hit by a car instead, Life is full of disappointments

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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Did you know why people actually fear clowns? Because slapstick humor is dead

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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What do people do in France when they are hungry? Get something to eat.

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Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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Why did the little girl fall down She was shot in the leg

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops