what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

thumb_up thumb_down -36

jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Busted? What the hell is going on?

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +69

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

thumb_up thumb_down +65

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +59

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops