TRUE COMEDY: "HOW ABOUT THAT AIRLINE FOOD!"

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

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A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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My mom's dead

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What's retarded and comes from Eygelshoven? Roel van den Elzen

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs? A: Russell

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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"Hello." "Hi."

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A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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