How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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That's what he said.

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and and no legs in front of a door? A: A quadruple amputee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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