Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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The burgler walked into the house. Nobody noticed the initial intrusion. The burgler quickly left. The family of which was stolen from woke up the next day and enjoyed a hearty breakfast of grains, oats, and barley without a worry on anyone's mind.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Two drunk men were in a bar fight, they smashed beer bottles on each others heads and walked away because it hurt.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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World Peace

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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