What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Steve Jobs.

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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