Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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hi

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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A black man, an Asian man, and a white man are stranded in the wilderness after their plane crashed. The black man has a flashlight, the Asian a bottle of water, and the white man a can of beans. They put their racial differences aside to increase chance of survival but were eaten by a pack of coyotes.

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minced oaths

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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I cant think of one (._. )

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Why don`t women need watches? Because in our modern society, there are many clocks in most locations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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