nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What would you do if you're eyes just suddently exploded? You would never see again.

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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How many no-armed amputees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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