A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Becca. I just found out i have aids, so you should probably get yourself checked out.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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uhh i dont feel like writing a joke

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Anne Frank.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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