How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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skjer;nf;oashfaefaohesf oiqeshLACLAHN IS SUTRP SD] make it shorett and swert

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because he was dead...

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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What does your girlfriend eat every morning that is white, warm and sticky? Oatmeal

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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roses are red, violets are violet

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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What kind of parrot can't mimic human voices? One that's just had it's vocal chords illegally harvested and sold on the black market

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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There is a black man and a Mexican standing near the edge of a cliff, the black man turns to the Mexican and says, "We probably shouldn't stand this close to the edge of a cliff" The Mexican agrees and they step away from the cliff.

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How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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