Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

A black goes to college

GAY PEOPLE

Your not having a bad day, your just doing everything wrong!

Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

What did you say? I don't know.

Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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