Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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ps3

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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